That kid

Joanne Jacobs sums up some of the coverage on the two recently reported incidents of kindergarten teachers acting cruelly toward difficult students in their classes.

In talking to teachers and reading the dozens of comments on my blog posts here and here, I see a pattern.

Teachers complain that more wild and crazy children are coming to school, and that there’s little that teachers are allowed to do to enforce discipline when parents are uncooperative or incompetent…

Teachers also say they’re promised training in dealing with children with disabilities or behavior problems, but they never get it. Or they get it, and it’s not helpful. They’re told special education teachers will co-teach or that aides will work with high-need children, but the extra help never appears or vanishes with the next budget cut.

Her summary of those responses is, for me, a little too close to “teachers say it’s the kids’ fault, the parents’ fault and/or the school system’s fault.” I don’t think that’s really what the teachers meant.

But, I think teachers do often feel really angry and helpless when they have that kid in class. The kid who makes it so difficult for you to teach everyone else. The kid who makes you cry after school because you have no idea how to reach her. And if you have four or five or twelve kids like that, well, then it takes more than just a devotion to your calling to survive a year. It takes strategies.

I bet a few of you had that kid in your class this year. We all know the answer to having an extremely disruptive kid in your class and terribly insufficient support is NOT to have the other kids vote him out of the class!

So, what worked for you? 

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Loving and respecting the child above ALL. It is HARD! Good documentation (keeping written records of behavior) and communication with parents and whatever support is in the school. You need to develop strategies that can help you get through ONE DAY AT A TIME. You are not going to “fix” the child but you can connect with him/her. Find the positives and focus on that.  The only person that you can control is yourself. Seek support and don’t be discouraged. Develop a relationship with the child. Spend your energies on that.